i'm witnessing the same situation with two different sets of people and frankly, girls are stupid. (this applies to some guys too, some of you get stupid)
i mean, i knew this before. shit, i'm stupid too sometimes. but not in the
over-the-line-do-you-not-have-any-common-sense-duh way. i mean, i've fallen in love and played the dumb ass ex-girlfriend "let me look at his fb/myspace/friendster to see which ugly bitch he dumped me for" role too. in other words,
i'm stupid but low-key LOL. but i mean, part of me understands and even sympathizes but the thing is:
why you tryina infiltrate his circle of friends, idiot?
seriously. yes, during the breakup, you got custody of his dvd's, all the pictures, and his favorite hoodie (and trust me, he is beating himself up over that one). but sweetheart, you did not win custody of his friends. shit, technically, you shouldn't even have visitation rights. why are you texting/calling/fb'ing/IM'ing/tweeting/whatever other social network method of stalking there is out there'ing his best friend (of all people) for advice about him and asking dumb ass questions? do you not know that:
a. he is going to tell your ex-boyfriend? which in turn will make you look even crazier and will turn him off even more.
b. we all know you're doing it and (i'm sorry) we're laughing about it. yes girl, when you asked that one r'tard question (i won't even say which one, just pick one), he read it out loud and we all simultaneously said YES.
c. that's his boy. even if your ex cheated on you and had 8 babies by 8 different baby mamas behind your back, he is never going to have YOUR back over his best friend. when you two broke up, who do you think organized the "fuck that bitch, on to the next" boys night out?
fucking duh.i mean, i can understand that yes, while you were dating your ex, you established a rapport with his best friend. maybe exchanged numbers, became buddy buddy. but you had to have known it wasn't going to be an actual, for real "fuck how my friend feels, let me convince him to get back with your crazy ass" deep friendship. you can't ask him to be driving your ass to and from the airport. there are boundaries, lady!
OR!
and maybe this is just me but, i have this theory that these girls do this because boys aren't really allowed to tell girls that we're being stupid bitches. boys that aren't
OUR friends i mean. your exes friend is never going to tell you that you're being a dumbass. like i said,
"shit, if she texted me that and asked me some stupid shit. i'd tell her to stop being an idiot and get over it already." that's 'cause i'm a girl and we can say that to each other. we can, right? shit, i tell my girlfriends the truf all the time. maybe that's why she won't ask her own friends. *shrug*
anyway, my point is,
stop being stupid and just let it go. your ex telling you
"i don't want to talk to you, please go away" doesn't in any way, shape, or form translate into "go bug my friends for more info." no fine print. no hidden messages. just --
go the fuck away. i'm not saying you have to pretend these people don't exist. it's ok to say hello at a bar or on the street. maybe a little small talk, friendly well-wishing, and all those things polite people do. even better if the sentiment is genuine and you really do care that your ex's bff is doing well and is no longer at that job that he hates or with that other crazy girl who tried to run his life. but don't go asking for advice on what to do about his friend. even worse,
do NOT go asking about your ex's new dating endeavors. the shit doesn't look cool. i know it's hard but you have to let go. i've been there. i even tried to stay friends with an ex's sister and sometimes i'd ask about him and it was heartbreaking everytime. just accept the fact that when you break up you lose his friends, his family, and all access to information about his lovelife after you. i mean, unless of course you hear through the grapevine (aka the shit's full blast on facebook -- which by the way, why haven't you deleted him yet? know what i'm sayin?).
think about it: wouldn't it only hurt you more to know, anyway? unless you're into that masochistic, self-inflicted pain type shit, then i don't know what to tell you.
