supahfresh.com

special girl, real good girl.

2011-06-09T16:51:00.005-05:00

"whoever you end up loving is gonna be a lucky motherfucker"

"i hold you on a different pedestal"

"marie, you're like... a gold mine"

"you gon be the biggest thing in some lucky fool's itty bitty world" (lmfao high ass)

"nah, you don't go in that box... you belong in my forever box"

just needed to remind myself that i'm something special.

like vs. love

2011-06-07T23:17:00.002-05:00

"like is trippin when the other person is having a bad day. love is putting your bad day aside because the other person is having a bad day." #justsayin

amy

2011-05-07T13:35:00.003-05:00

mom: (after someone cuts her off on the road) OK JERK ASS!

me: man, we hang out too much

I miss you so much, mom. I love you and I'm sorry

Somewhere

2011-03-21T16:57:00.005-05:00

I've been thinking a lot about the Philippines lately. I was only there until I was 8 but I miss it a lot. I went through a lot in those 8 years and lately all those little flashbacks have been coming back. Particularly all the times my mom and I moved around. We had the one place we called home which was an apartment building in Manila that she and her siblings inherited from their parents. We lived in a bunch of cities and provinces but we always came back to that place. It was home, which is why I have the address tattooed on my body.

I don't really know why my mom moved us around a lot. Now that I think about it, I feel like my mom was on a constant search for happiness. When I think back on our experiences, I feel like we would be living somewhere for a bit and when she felt like she wasn't happy anymore or if something went awry, she would decide that it wasn't the place for us and she would pack us up and off we went. It wasn't like she ran away from problems or anything... though that's what it sounds like. She just liked to live where the vibes were positive. I guess that's where I get it from in the sense that I choose where to place myself or who to be friends with based off the vibes I get. My mom was kind of a hippie that way I guess.

I remember when I was about 3 or 4 (and yes, I can remember that far and sometimes even further back) we were living at this bar/restaurant place. They had housing for their employees near the spot. It was cool because it was like a hut and shit. I don't remember how we got there or how she even got the job. She ended up being the head chef at this spot and all the employees LOVED me. They'd let me run around the restaurant and at night when the dancefloor was on and poppin and the music would be playing, I'd be dancing around. I even remember being the one to give the patrons their checks and saying shit like "Thank you, did you guys like the food? my mom made it" in Tagalog of course. Then one night my mom packed me up in the middle of the night, we got in a tricycle and we went to the bus station. I fell asleep and when I woke up, I was in my aunt's bed in Laguna. At the time, I was like well, I guess we're staying here now. I didn't mind because everytime my mom and I moved somewhere, it was an adventure. I do kind of wonder why we left the restaurant though.

Aside from that memory of moving, I have a few more. When people ask me where in the Philippines I was from, I say everywhere and I really do mean everywhere. I lived in the city, I lived in provinces, I lived near a farm... I even lived in a beach house and met all different kinds of tourists. Like I said, my mom was in constant search for something. Was it happiness or maybe she couldn't decide where it would be best for us to live...? I know that if it hadn't been for her sister having cancer and my mom didn't have to move to Chicago, we would've stayed in the Philippines. And now that I've been reflecting on these things, it explains why this song is her and my dad's song. But I don't think this is their song, I think she meant it for us. I miss you, Amy.

There's a place for us

Somewhere a place for us

Peace and quiet and open air

Wait for us somewhere

There's a time for us
Someday a time for us
Time together with time to spare
Time to learn, time to care

Someday, somewhere
We'll find a new way of living
We'll find a way of forgiving somewhere

Yes, there's a place for each of us
A place of peace and quiet
And we must try to persue this place
Where love is like a passion that burns like a fire
And also fulfillment of two hearts' desire
Let our efforts be as determined as that of a little stream
That saunters down the hillside seeking its level
Only to become a huge river destined to the sea

Yes, there's a place for us
Somewhere a place for us
Hold my hand and were halfway there
Hold my hand and I'll take you there
Somehow, someday
Somewhere

Hold my hand and were halfway there
Hold my hand and I'll take you there
Somehow, someday
Somewhere

Hip Hop Jr.

2011-02-17T14:38:00.002-06:00

We released this video like two weeks ago and never posted it on here... aww look at my housemates. All talented and stuff.

Directed & edited by Sense Hernandez for Beast Factory Films

http://twitter.com/therealgooniej

http://twitter.com/sensehernandez

KING of hearts

2011-02-14T15:20:00.006-06:00

Goodlife Music Group's emcee/producer KING drops his mixtape, KING of Hearts today in time for Valentine's Day -- and yes the name's always gotta be in CAPS and for good reason. With his mellow beats and smooth flows, he takes you through a journey through the ups and downs of "the game". You know exactly what game I'm talkin about. He goes from playin the field, to meeting his one, and then to speaking about a love that has been lost. It's been awhile since I heard an album/mixtape that tells a story I can relate to. For real. The vibes I get from his songs are reminiscent of those I get from old school classic hip-hop love joints. Marchin' ft. Astonish is fast becoming my favorite track from this set. So if your taste is anything like mine, you'll appreciate this for beats that stimulate the eardrums and lyrics that speak to the heart and soul. Download now, thank me later.

*oh and sidenote -- graphics were done by Supahfresh for 16ThirtyOne.Com (yes, that would be me. shameless plug, I know.)

Download KING OF HEARTS from GLMRecords.

gold mine (?)

2011-02-08T13:26:00.005-06:00

before a much needed girl's night out two saturdays ago, two of the best girls on the planet and i sat around with our poison of choice. of course you know, the best conversations happen during gutterfly pre-juice time.

me: i don't know, maybe i'm too much of one of the boys for anyone to notice me

r: are you crazy? what the fuck are you talking about?

me: i don't know. i'm like, not enough of a girl on a regular basis. i talk a lot of shit and i don't know... you know... sometimes i don't know how to be a girl anymore.

r: are you kidding? marie, you're a gold mine. you can chill with the best of 'em and you're beautiful and you're an amazing girlfriend -- whoever lands you hits the jackpot.

would it be hitting the jackpot though?

let's break it down:

i'm around guys all the time. who would want a girlfriend whose circle consists of 95% percent guy friends? that number is not an exaggeration either. my friends will always be on deck to tell me when a nigga is about to treat me like a nigga. and i love them for it. but can you imagine what that would be like for the guy -- whoever he is. because for real, no one and i mean NO ONE is trippin off me these days -- he can't sweet talk me, he can't lie to me. i got everything decoded for me already. i'm playing the game with a marked deck, know what i'm sayin? and for some guys, to not be able to play games with a girl is a no go. and another issue, how would you feel if your girl is around dudes 24/7 and i mean 24/7. i live with two guys. you feel me? it's hard to get a guy to believe that nothing is going on. even though there is REALLY NOTHING GOING ON. he's always going to think shit like -- guys and girls can never be on a platonic level with no sexual interest (wrong, cuz i'm living proof) or what if she walks out the shower in her towel, i don't want a bunch of other dudes lookin at my girl. lol guys are so territorial.

and another thing! i've gotten so comfortable with guys that i'm almost always in my chill clothes. you know, sweats and a hoodie. no one wants to look at a girl in her sweats all the damn time. lol people are shocked as fuck when they see me about to go out hair all done, makeup on point. motherfucker, i bullshit like you, i can out-drink most of you, hit that bowl harder than you -- but i clean up nice. just saying.

besides these things, i mean i have my own issues with it too.

i can love like only a woman can but at the same time i can be as emotionally unavailable as a man. because of all the shit i've seen and all the shit i know (on top of all the shit i've been through), i've built a wall so high and so strong that no one can break through or get over. it would take a very patient, very special guy to do so. you understand this dwindles my options to about slim to non-fucking-existent. so i'm pretty much fucked in that department.

with all that said... i like who i am, who i choose to associate myself with (even if it is 95% testosterone 5% estrogen) and if takes the rarest guy on the planet and it takes years for me to find him. then i'm ok with that. now if you can handle a girl who

... will tell you the truth even if it hurts

... you can't bullshit when it comes to the serious shit

... will laugh when you fall off the couch and bust your ass (c'mon, that's funny)

... will probably end up becoming friends (and just friends) with your boys

... has a mouth like a trucker, a liver like a tito, and lungs like wiz (ok maybe not like wiz)

i'm accepting applications. because as much work as it sounds to be able to deal with me, my girlfriend characteristics are pretty much on point. you'll just have to try to get over the wall to see what that's like.

oh and btw, thank you to my girl for making me think about this

and making me feel beautiful inside and out.

that friend.

2011-02-07T17:38:00.005-06:00

i've been thinking about this for quite some time now.

i was at my friend's husband's birthday get together and i was in a bedroom talking with my vip (aka the girls i do, have always, and always will forever love to death). subject at hand: breast pumps. and of course the only one without a kid, i was lost in the conversation. mind you, it was also awkward because my friend was there with one titty out (she had a blanket over it ok) making wincy faces while she was pumping milk. sorry, i know, tmi. i had nothing to contribute to the convo and was standing there cracking jokes to make it less weird for myself. i felt left out.

a few days later, another friend of mine whom i met freshman year in highschool during gym (oh, the irony) was telling me about her husband.

she was talking about "don't tell anyone, but he has a bedside hairbrush."

with my famous sarcastic tone, i reply "he brushes his hair before going to sleep?... what? the standard 100 strokes? hawhaw"

with our famous wtf-do-you-think look and a dead serious voice she says "oh yes. 100 times."

and i got to thinking -- more like noticing -- i am the only one out of all my close friends that isn't married or at least in a steady relationship. i'm that friend. that friend that you see in those t.v. shows or in movies that needs to get it together. the last single friend. no responsibilities of having another life to take care of. i mean that part is good, because let's face it, i can barely take care of myself. but i'm like that friend that they have to be there for. the one that's always got the drama. i'm like that sister in those dyfunctional family holiday movies that you just look at the dinner table and think, why can't she just get it together? and honestly...

i don't know how i got here.

i mean, i know it's not bad being single. the loneliness and having to hear about other people being in love when you're not part sucks sometimes. and don't get me wrong, i love hearing about people being in love and especially about my friends being happy and in love. seeing them glow makes me happy, it really does. but sometimes, you know, you're just like -- well wtf? i wish i had husband or boyfriend with some weird ass habit i can share with my girls. LOL i know, right?

and it's not just with relationships either. career-wise? oh please. i'm so far from having it together that i've run out of quarters to feed the view-finder. i can't see it anymore. i feel like my career life is in this weird grey area where i keep on having to start over.

again, don't get it twisted.

i'm not saying i hate my life entirely.

i'm not saying i'm jealous of my friends. because i'm 1000%, head over heels, genuinely happy for them.

i'm just saying that, for once, i would love some stability. i don't even need to be married. shit, i don't know even know if i buy into the whole marriage thing. i can just goldie hawn it for the rest of my life and i'd be fine. i would just like to come home to something normal. i would like to not have to analyze a text message to death to see "where we are". when my girls ask me so how are things with so and so, i would like to not have to begin with: oh, let me telll you... --LMAO --

i don't even need to have a career right now either. it's just... some direction would be nice. just a path that i could follow and not have to worry about where my tomorrow lies. i guess you can say i brought this on myself. i should've been more responsible growing up. stuck to the books. high school. college. move out. married. kids. should've been in that order.

but i mean, what can you do? i'm a free-spirit (or i'd like to think i am) who didn't like to be told what to do. who didn't want to stick around my parent's house in the midst of all that drama. i did what i wanted to do and i did it by myself. which is the good part in all this. i can look at my life and think yeah, i'm experiencing a lot... on my own.

but sometimes... the stability.

oh, the stability. how i crave it. i'd love to experience sailing on calm waters and not worry what type of shit-storm is up ahead. i wonder what my life would've been like if i had stuck to what i call the cookie cutter life. god, imagine that? marie? in a steady job with a house and timely paid bills? what?

but you know what, right now? i'm fine being that friend.

because even though i don't have that stability and i don't have stories about boy hair habits and breast pumps... i have stories about the craziness in my life. i'll have stories to share with my nieces and nephews (mostly nephews, could one of you guys pop out a girl? who am i supposed to pass my fashion knowledge down to? and the shoes?) when they get older. or i mean, god forbid, i have a child -- imagine all the things i can share.

i mean, being that friend is pretty cool too.

but you know, i'm just sayin.

square one

2011-02-02T13:17:00.008-06:00

you know when a girl meets a guy and she can't get his smile out of her head? or when he can't stop thinking about how her face looked when she greeted him with a "nice meeting you"? it's like the stars have aligned and said "look... here she is... here he is... now you two go make some damn magic". and for awhile they do. random texts, phone calls at work just to check how each other's day is going... dare i say it? facebook flirting. i mean, it all starts with an add and a poke right? dinners, movies, that first kiss...

square one never looked and felt so good.

but you know, things get in the way. she's not ready and he's too ready.

fail.

back to square one.

they take it slower and she finally opens up and takes her wall down. let's him in emotionally and eventually physically. "that's what i was waiting for" he says... and she's laying there thinking "what the fuck does that mean?" trying her best not to make her famous stank face. but you know she's going to analyze that shit to death. why? because it's a confusing thing to hear. oh, and because she's a girl and that's what girls do. so now she's ready to give all the attention he was asking for. all the affection she's been wanting to give. only now he's cold. she's lucky if she even gets a tweet reply. geezus, when did social networks start playing such an important role in a relationship? did you see his status? what does that mean? bitch, get over yourself, not everything is about you. that probably wasn't for you. why did she post that on her wall? dude, maybe she just likes that song. won't make a big deal about it. by the way, this whole facebook/twitter thing is getting out of control. why do i need to feel rejected via text, twitter, email, IM, AND facebook? (he's just not that into you -- drew barrymore complains about technologically being dumped. remember that? true story tho. amen girl) anyway, back to our couple here...

BUT YO... THIS IS STILL SQUARE ONE

-- just with sex. this is worse than square one, it's about a fucking half step before square one. because now she's confused, is he still into her? or is this just a booty thing? which is fine if that's the case. just that, and this goes out to the guys... if it's just a sex thing, you need to tell her. some guys are always so afraid to be truthful when telling a girl how deep (or how shallow) they are willing to take the relationship. you never know, some girls might be just fine sexin' you with no emotional attachment. sometimes we need to know where our emotional boundaries are for our own self-preservation -- and for your sake too. i mean, so that way y'all don't have to worry about breaking our hearts and making us cry. cuz so many of you are soooo worried about that shit right? i'm playing. we just need to know so that we can tuck our feelings away somewhere and we don't end blurting some crazy shit out sounding like some psycho non-girlfriend. and vice versa too. ladies, if you need to tell dude it's just sex. do it. guys have feelings too. i don't care how many "bitches" they fuck and leave -- you know how he thug em, fuck em, love em, leave em, cuz he don't fuckin need em? sometimes shit gets real for a guy too. remember that.

but anyway, tangents.

the whole point of this post is this -- to my friend: square one's not that bad. remember all of the square ones you've survived. the one after that guy that cheated on you and broke your heart?you picked yourself up and made your way all the way to square like 80. remember that square one's ass you kicked after you lost your job? that wasn't so bad right? you found yourself a new grind and it made you happier. people are always looking at square one as the beginning of a struggle. the bottom part of the fall from the top. i'm trying to look at it as a new beginning. the step where you can make that first decision all over again so that you can't prevent yourself from fucking up. you can make that decision to openly discuss how far you want this relationship to go so that you're on the same page. you can make the decision to just chill and let it happen instead of trying to force it like you did before. OR you can make that decision to leave all the pieces on this square one and move on to the next one. you see, life is trial and error. there's no perfect plan. no step by step manual to a perfect love. you just gotta take every square one and try to make better decisions til you get that shit right for you.

i'm goin' for a riiiiide...

2011-01-21T14:03:00.003-06:00

if i had a car. since i don't, i'ma just bump this in my room while i get hyped up to go out... or clean the house... you know whatever. check it out, though. track by jus' sam for goodlife's av club.

www.glmrecords.com

smell ya later, 2010.

2010-12-31T12:29:00.002-06:00

in no particular order:

winston month
meetings with rox
k&m monday fun days
gutterfly nights with kay & mari
"go to bed, jason!" (sorry for the millionth time)
foodie adventures with my favorite foodie partner, you know who you are
hiromi's
fucking shit up with wacktacula (when he got home)
drunken skype
the abbey. bradley. dear summer. goodlife.
nightmare on elm street. friday the 13th. halloween. movie nights.
hanging out with my lazy (but smokin hot) best friends, lisi & rubi
the bone thugs show
random papa roach show
lunches with bern. smokes with jun. days of unemployment.
ate jie
baby noah =)

and my absolute favorite thing about 2010:

igniting new friendships and extinguishing old drama. this year wasn't all that great. infact, some parts of it made me want to die a million deaths but it wasn't all terrible. i'm truly thankful for all the people i met this year (and trust me, that was a lot) and all the friends that stuck with me. you guys helped me survive and i love you. and i'm also thankful that some people from my past and i were able to put everything behind us and start fresh (or the closest to fresh as possible). like the wise and illustrious kayleigh once told me "we're all just on this planet to meet and learn from each other" she's absolutely right. so everybody love everybody.

so a big thank you and a big fuck you to 2010 at the same time.

2011 is gonna be the shit

open your eyes

2010-12-22T21:21:00.001-06:00

talk about multi-talented. i'm in love, i think.

stop it.

2010-12-15T18:10:00.005-06:00

you can't expect me to give a shit if you don't take me seriously -- number one. number two, you can't get mad at me for forgetting when you seem to be doing everything BUT remembering. and finally, this shit is a two-way street my "friend" and i'm a little tired of going over to your side. how about you meet me halfway?

and yes, picture me rolling my neck and wagging my finger. let's fix our problem.

q-tip : dance on glass

2010-12-14T13:58:00.005-06:00

Who can make it up, dark age is here in rap
And the constant conversation has been let's bring it back
Corny rap style niggas they lack the pedigree
Deep waters they be in when they just a manatee
Who me I'm unaffected the Whale, the Hammerhead
The Magnanimous decision, unanimous, I am fed
What chu looking at, wait, I can help you with that
The Formidable, unforgettable painting Abstract

I haven't heard a track that I loved this much in a long time. Like let me put the shit on loop and play it back a million times love. I love Q-tip. I missed him and I totally missed out on this one (almost).

duh times a gillion.

2010-12-06T15:17:00.012-06:00

i'm witnessing the same situation with two different sets of people and frankly, girls are stupid. (this applies to some guys too, some of you get stupid)

i mean, i knew this before. shit, i'm stupid too sometimes. but not in the over-the-line-do-you-not-have-any-common-sense-duh way. i mean, i've fallen in love and played the dumb ass ex-girlfriend "let me look at his fb/myspace/friendster to see which ugly bitch he dumped me for" role too. in other words, i'm stupid but low-key LOL. but i mean, part of me understands and even sympathizes but the thing is: why you tryina infiltrate his circle of friends, idiot?

seriously. yes, during the breakup, you got custody of his dvd's, all the pictures, and his favorite hoodie (and trust me, he is beating himself up over that one). but sweetheart, you did not win custody of his friends. shit, technically, you shouldn't even have visitation rights. why are you texting/calling/fb'ing/IM'ing/tweeting/whatever other social network method of stalking there is out there'ing his best friend (of all people) for advice about him and asking dumb ass questions? do you not know that:

a. he is going to tell your ex-boyfriend? which in turn will make you look even crazier and will turn him off even more.

b. we all know you're doing it and (i'm sorry) we're laughing about it. yes girl, when you asked that one r'tard question (i won't even say which one, just pick one), he read it out loud and we all simultaneously said YES.

c. that's his boy. even if your ex cheated on you and had 8 babies by 8 different baby mamas behind your back, he is never going to have YOUR back over his best friend. when you two broke up, who do you think organized the "fuck that bitch, on to the next" boys night out?

fucking duh.

i mean, i can understand that yes, while you were dating your ex, you established a rapport with his best friend. maybe exchanged numbers, became buddy buddy. but you had to have known it wasn't going to be an actual, for real "fuck how my friend feels, let me convince him to get back with your crazy ass" deep friendship. you can't ask him to be driving your ass to and from the airport. there are boundaries, lady!

OR!

and maybe this is just me but, i have this theory that these girls do this because boys aren't really allowed to tell girls that we're being stupid bitches. boys that aren't OUR friends i mean. your exes friend is never going to tell you that you're being a dumbass. like i said, "shit, if she texted me that and asked me some stupid shit. i'd tell her to stop being an idiot and get over it already." that's 'cause i'm a girl and we can say that to each other. we can, right? shit, i tell my girlfriends the truf all the time. maybe that's why she won't ask her own friends. *shrug*

anyway, my point is, stop being stupid and just let it go. your ex telling you "i don't want to talk to you, please go away" doesn't in any way, shape, or form translate into "go bug my friends for more info." no fine print. no hidden messages. just -- go the fuck away. i'm not saying you have to pretend these people don't exist. it's ok to say hello at a bar or on the street. maybe a little small talk, friendly well-wishing, and all those things polite people do. even better if the sentiment is genuine and you really do care that your ex's bff is doing well and is no longer at that job that he hates or with that other crazy girl who tried to run his life. but don't go asking for advice on what to do about his friend. even worse, do NOT go asking about your ex's new dating endeavors. the shit doesn't look cool. i know it's hard but you have to let go. i've been there. i even tried to stay friends with an ex's sister and sometimes i'd ask about him and it was heartbreaking everytime. just accept the fact that when you break up you lose his friends, his family, and all access to information about his lovelife after you. i mean, unless of course you hear through the grapevine (aka the shit's full blast on facebook -- which by the way, why haven't you deleted him yet? know what i'm sayin?).

think about it: wouldn't it only hurt you more to know, anyway? unless you're into that masochistic, self-inflicted pain type shit, then i don't know what to tell you.

yeah, seriously.

2010-11-24T10:16:00.002-06:00

"aye man, all is fair in love and war -- unless of course you gettin' ya ass whooped."

for real, don't.

2010-11-24T09:31:00.001-06:00

yeah, i took it back.

pass you by.

2010-11-23T11:55:00.003-06:00

the problem with loving hard is that you end up gripping too tight. when it's time to let go, it's damn near impossible. jus' sayin.

amen.

2010-11-12T11:41:00.003-06:00

"If you can't recognize the red flags of an asshole, you'll never raise the white flag for the good guy and allow him to sweep you off your feet."
- one of my favorite blogs sam.tony.alex.renee
read the full post here

qbert.

2010-11-09T17:03:00.003-06:00

this is my cheer me up video of the moment.
and yes, i've already done that dance in public.

dance like no one's watching

2010-11-09T10:09:00.008-06:00

i had quite an interesting little saturday night. i ended up going to dinner in chinatown (soupy dumplings nom nom nom!) and ended up going to some random dance party. ok, it wasn't really so random. i was bamboozled into going. i tagged along with my friends with the idea that i was going to see a live show. everyone knows how i feel about live music. anyway, so we get there and my friend who was ahead of me hands the lady $5 and says "we're here for the dance party." my dumb remedial ass is thinking: dance party? cool band name. yeah, i get that slow sometimes. shut up.

we get there and it was this live jazz show. so by now, i'm totally confused. but i love jazz so it's all good. after the show (and i wish i could remember the name of the band because they're amazing), we go outside for a smoke and come back in to find the lights off... spinning disco ball... and funk blasting through the speakers. my friend says "man, now i feel like snorting coke" that should give you an idea of the vibe. lmao.

everyone just started dancing.

it wasn't like your normal club setting either. well at least not normal for me. i mean you can probably imagine that i'm often at a club that plays hip-hop, house... i don't know why you would imagine that. but that's the kind of place i normally go to to dance. i'm not gonna lie, at first, i thought most of the people in there were "bad" dancers. and i use "" because it's the general definition of a bad dancer. like you know, no real rhythm... awkward movement. later on i realized that everyone in there was just having pure fun. pure dancing fun. like not the kind of dancing where people are grinding on each other (eww) or dancing to appease anyone else but themselves. it was the kind where you just let the music move you. it was kind of amazing really. and by the way, i arrived at this realization when they played afrika bambaataa & the soul sonic force's planet rock and i just rocked with my friends like we haven't done in a long time. no care in the world, absolutely oblivious of our surroundings and just... danced. completely drama free setting. it was pure fun. i already said that.

i wish everyday was like that where i didn't have to stress about anything and just chill the fuck out (heh). feel free to do whatever my little heart desires. wouldn't that be amazing?

thank you, tom for taking us there. =)

let your soul lead the way

i suck at this game.

2010-11-02T10:15:00.005-05:00

i couldn't finish the 30-day blog challenge. i'm thinking about cheating and waiting for november 10 to start on day 10. haha. lame, i know. whatever. i really wish i could be a more active blogger. i probably will be since i've just learned someone else whose blogs i love to read is coming back. yeayuh.

in other news...

work is kinda kicking my ass. actually, i don't really mind the work. it's really just the hectic nature in which my boss operates. read: bitch cuh-razy. i mean, i work 8:30 til whenever i finish ...sometimes on time at 5:30 sometimes at 7:30 like wtf?.. and i don't even get paid overtime on the weekdays. oh and did i mention i work from 9-5 on saturdays? i mean, i'm bound to slip and make a mistake once in awhile. sheesh. gimme a break. blah. i'm not gonna go on and on because y'all don't have 5 hours to sit and read about this shit. i'm just stressing about work. and i think i'm underpaid. jus' sayin.

aside from work, things at home are just lovely. seriously. i love being around my roommates and it helps my mental health especially when i come home after a long day. you guys should follow them on twitter: fayzegl and bdabusiness. yeah i live with two dudes. two of the best dudes in the world. we're like a ghetto dysfunctional version of three's company.

so that's my little update. i'm trying to find time to blog and i'm trying to find some shit to blog about so sit tight. i might also start doing video logs. get ready for my annoying voice.

love yous.

day 9: this bitch right here...

2010-10-13T16:05:00.007-05:00

... is my love, Elizabeth. All homo. I've known her since the 3rd grade and I'm truly proud of the incredible woman she's grown to become. She's a wonderful daughter, sister, wife and mother (expecting baby #2... it's gon be a girl, I'm tellin you). She's got her career on the right path. She makes time to be a true friend which makes her amazing. AND.. tha's right... AND she still has many goals she set for herself which makes her superwoman. For serious.

She is one of (if not THE) baddest bitches I know. Plus, she's smokin' hot and she was totally at the Bone Thugs show rockin them heels -- with her cute little baby bump rappin along. Girl, I love you.

forreals

2010-10-13T09:58:00.003-05:00

I can run, I can race for hours and hours
And don't stop
I can float I can fly us to the highest
Mountain top I can breathe you, I can drink in your laugh
I can... I can live on your smile I can trip and if I can fall into your arms I can
Stay there my whole life

day 8: october goals

2010-10-12T09:49:00.003-05:00

i know, it's also a half-assed title. get over it. i'm trying to catch up here.

my goals for this month is to finish:

• www.goodlifemusicgroup.com
• hostile takeover stuff

i'm dragging. i'm half asleep. need to wake the fuck up and go.

jam

2010-10-12T09:23:00.006-05:00

i swear, tamia's got a song for everything i've ever been through

I miss the times that we almost shared
I miss the love that was almost there
I miss the times that we used to kiss
At least in my dreams just let me take my time and reminisce
I miss the times that we never had
What happen to us, we were almost there
Who ever said it’s impossible to miss
What you never had, never almost had you

(some times I want to hug you, sometimes I want to love you)
You seem to be the perfect one for me
(some times I want to touch you, but to night I want to love you)
You, you’re all I ever wanted
You’re my everything, Yes it’s true
Boy it’s hard to be close to you
My love, boy it may sound crazy
But I’m in love with you

day 7: amy

2010-10-07T10:55:00.002-05:00

for those of you that know me personally, i'm sure you already knew this is the only person's picture i would put up for this challenge. this is my mom, my role model, my soul mate, my best friend... my heart. she was and is still everything i hope to be. the most loving, selfless, generous, kind person i have ever had the privilege of knowing. our relationship was weird. one of those, you gotta be in it to understand type shit. no one understood us and that's what made our mother/daughter-ship even more special. i don't know how i would have gotten through (and i don't know how i'm STILL getting through) life without her.

i miss you amy.

day 6: hobby

2010-10-07T10:01:00.003-05:00

*sorry, no semi-creative title for this one. my brain is half dead today. this is also a half-assed post. whatever, so uninspired. gimme a couple hours or fight me then.

i got a few hobbies going but the one i wish i had more time for is graphic/web design. i've been tinkering around with it since i was 16. looking at a screen of coding is kinda relaxing to me. does that make me weird? lol whatever. i'm hoping to make it my career so i'm hoping i can go back to school asap.

supahfresh.16thirtyone.com

day 5: bicoastal, bietch.

2010-10-06T10:11:00.008-05:00

a picture of somewhere i've been to. i keep it fresh from coast to coast (i know... bitch, please) so here are pics from 2 of my favorite trips to 2 of my favorite cities. chicago still has my heart forever and always though.

san francisco. i hella miss sf (hella!) . this is from when sherwin and i went in 2008,

our cab driver took us down by the dock to his favorite view of the bridge. exclusive shit.

i only roll vip, you know how i do. omg, marie, shut up.

new york 2003, when we went to pick up alstaire from risd.

wtf happened to day 4?

2010-10-06T10:10:00.001-05:00

i'm working on it. you can't expect me to pick any 15 songs. sheesh. fight me then.

day 3: how appropriate for today's challenge...

2010-10-04T09:10:00.002-05:00

so my worst habit i would have to say is that i procrastinate like a motherfucker. which is why this post is appropriate, i swear i was gonna do this shit yesterday but i was like...

later...

later...

later...

later...

ooh! a movie? sure! i'll do my post later.

and whaddya know, it's now day 4. lol i think that goes hand in hand with my being late. i get ready at the last minute. i'll say "text me when you leave" and only then will i get my ass up and get ready. in my defense, it shows how quick i get it together if i can get dressed, do the hair, and the makeup by the time you get to my house. that or maybe i just have some draggin ass friends too.

omgjokiiiiing!

motivating shit.

2010-10-02T14:27:00.002-05:00

"if you're not the best, you should be out there getting better."

-ckl

day 2: if living is without you...

2010-10-02T09:43:00.006-05:00

i absolutely cannot live without music. if i have any free time at all where i don't have to talk to anyone or i have to wait for something... or even a short walk to the store alone, i need to turn on my ipod or phone for music. i was actually late for work today because i went back upstairs just to grab my ipod and that son of a bitch bus left me behind. i love all kinds of music too, i'll listen to anything and everything. which is why i'm kind of dreading the day of the challenge where i have to put together a soundtrack... but anyway...we're getting side tracked. so yeah, here's a pic of something i can't live without.

*fyi- i'm titling my posts differently so if you need to know what the challenge is for the day, just look on the sidebar. thanksloveyou

day 1: a mug & 15 fun facts fo' dat ass

2010-10-01T16:27:00.007-05:00

taken in the bathroom at kayleigh's bday... then sent to someone speci -- who's aight =P

01. i got my name because my dad's middle name is marie

02. i came here from the philippines when i was 8. that's right, i'm an import.

03. i speak fluent tagalog. i can turn that accent on and off like a light switch.

04. i'm an excellent cook, but i can't bake for shit.

05. i listen to gangsta rap when i work out (it makes me run faster lol).

06. tetris junkie (the only video game i'll play... well besides the super mario bros games). sometimes i play it when i'm pissed at the world.

07. i find a way to incorporate my favorite quotes from movies and t.v. shows into my daily conversations

08. i can't sleep without a blanket. even when it's hot... just stick a foot out. c'mon, you know it works. lol

09. i love chicago too much to move (even though i keep saying i'm going to)

10. i'd rather text than call. i'm one of those assholes that won't pick up a call then text 2 minutes later "yo, did you call me?"

11. i have a small nike dunk collection (it used to be this big sneaker collection but i sold them off when i needed money. sad, i know but that's a different post)

12. i get teary-eyed when people win game shows or sports championships

13. my way of dealing with things is cracking jokes

14. my most cherished posession is a stuffed monkey that my mom's nun friend gave me when i came to chicago. his name is jordan (yep, after mj)

15. i'm still friends with my first love

boo ya!

thirty days of blog

2010-10-01T11:34:00.004-05:00

hi. i'm doing the 30-Day Blog Challenge that I picked up from one of my new faves. my list is over on the right there. over there. look --> kthnksloveyoubye.

i love cake.

2010-09-18T09:28:00.006-05:00

my personality is hardly girly. i'm so not maarte, hardly fussy (although super-emotional at times), got a potty mouth for days. i will chill with a new guy wearing sweats and a white tee (especially at my house, why would i get all dressed up when we're just chillin here? duh.) but underneath all that, i looooove me some cake. not the baked goods. you know which kind i'm talkin about.

i like the butterflies you get off of a goodmorning text. if he adds "beautiful" at the end? that's it. game over. i'm fucked up the rest of the day. there's nothing like the rush you get when you know he's coming by to see you. i love me a good cuddle session (even without the netflix). hand holding. door opening. random phone calls at work just to say hello, i was thinking of you. little subliminal messages on facebook cuz you both know you guys cannot tell your friends yet. which brings in a whole new kind of caking... the secret kind. the looks from across the room got you smiling like a damn fool all night. the two of you "accidentally" brushing arms or bumping into each other. girl, you know you timed that shit. flowers. love notes. texting me funny pics or song lyrics that you know will make me smile?

i love all that shit.

your not-your-typical girly girl -- and i plead guilty to this as well -- will tell you that all that shit is overrated. that bitch is lying. she'll tell you that she doesn't celebrate valentine's day or anniversaries but if you don't give her at least a heads up letting her know that you remembered, you will be in for a night of stank faces and attitude. complete with "nothing's wrong!" lol. trust me. c'mon dude, at least for the first one together. yeesh.

so guys, next time you meet a girl that you dig that just happens to be "one of the boys"... don't let that stop you from saying sweet things even if you think it's corny. #1 it WILL make her smile and #2 if you don't, how she supposed to know you think she's special?! duh. we're not mind readers. that's another post.

exactly. (damn, i love the 90s)

happy weekend, errbody!

hotlipps

2010-09-15T11:26:00.002-05:00

campus hottie

2010-09-14T09:47:00.002-05:00

i've been looking for a backpack like that forever. that's all i need and i have this entire outfit... i think i'll go hit up ebay.

i'm bored, let's go out.

2010-09-13T11:56:00.004-05:00

possible outfit choice for a birthday comin' up... *cough*hurryuppickaplace*cough*

earthly skies

2010-09-09T11:30:00.004-05:00

fall's here finally! time for layering and busting out the scarves. i'm currently in love with camel, caramel, tan colors for shoes, bags, and accessories (i've wearing this belt a lot lately, and i can't seem to get it off lol i love it). and i especially love these colors against navy blue. doesnt that dress look like a starry sky!? *excited girlish screams*... i'd also probably wear this with opaque dark grey tights (like ones i'm wearing right now, heeeeey)

brown lace

2010-09-08T17:01:00.002-05:00

first of all, summer is almost over... second of all, i don't really have the body (or the budget) for this outfit... but i love it. if cold is your issue, you can always replace wear boots and tights and slap on a leather (faux) jacket. if it's body concerns, skinny jeans instead of shorts and a tank instead of the bandeau. also, i think this outfit might be easy to recreate on a thrifting budget =) maybe i'll try.

p.s. i'm addicted to creating stuff on polyvore.com

ms. nude bootie...

2010-09-08T15:59:00.003-05:00

bootie, bootie, bootie, bootie rockin' err'where...

i'm currently obsessed with finding a nude bootie. it's like finding the perfect boyfriend... likes long walks, feels like heaven on the dance floor, likes nights out on the town, and won't pinch my nerves (ha). i went through polyvore (all afternoon at work lol) and the 4 up there are my picks. if only i wasn't broke *sigh*

anyone got any other suggestions? share share!

if you don't know, now you know.

2010-09-06T17:16:00.008-05:00

i'm not particularly articulate or deep with my words. especially if i'm trying to express my feelings. i just put it simply, with marie's famous twist of sarcasm and humor. that's how i deal. i would say 85% of the time, i won't even say anything. i'll suck it up and adjust my feelings to avoid confrontation.

a person can only adjust so much before they break.

i can only turn my cheek so my many times before my neck starts to hurt and i can't take it anymore. know what i'm saying?

i get it, this is what it was like before i got here. i get it, this is what the "lifestyle" is like. i even get the fact that i did something i wasn't supposed to do, thus landing myself in this situation.

i get it because i made the effort to understand.

so doesn't the golden rule apply? duh.

i feel like no one gave the effort to understand me. like you didn't turn yourself around and think "why is she seeing it differently than me?" i wasn't asked any questions. if i was, my answers were disregarded and i got the vibe that people thought i was just being a bitch.

you don't get why i'm upset about noise because you didn't make the effort to realize that i need peace and quiet when i walk in from a long day.

you don't get why i'm upset about mess because you didn't make the effort to realize that i consider leaving a mess disrespectful of "our home". and granted, my room is crazy messy but i don't subject anyone else to it in common areas.

you don't get why i'm upset seeing you do what you're doing because not only am i still bitter (there, i admitted it) but because i care about you and i don't want to think of you as that kind of person. you don't know because you never asked. i just feel like you were indifferent and didn't really care if you were hurting me or not. you don't know how much damage you actually did because you didn't stand back and look at the wreckage. or i don't know, maybe you did and you got the impression that it was ok.

i have a strong threshold for pain but come on now, my heart is about to blow the fuck up.

i never thought i was better than anyone. i never meant to walk around with this supposed chip on my shoulder (eww, get it off). don't mistake my being annoyed for that. judgemental is probably one of the worse things you can say about me to me because i'm so the opposite. i'm one of the first people who look past the flaws because i have so many of my own. i'm one the type to chime in and say "cmon now, they're not even like that." when shit-talking gets real. especially when it's about someone i consider a true friend. you don't know how many times i defended you. why would i defend you if i thought i was out of your league? season that shit and let it marinate.

i pride myself in being flexible in a sense that i like meeting people, doesn't matter how different they are from me. what was that thing my friend called me the other night?... oh yeah, adaptable. i know there are some people that i choose not to associate myself with. but trust me when i say this: i have never hated or judged someone based on monetary/social status, color, past mistakes, education, religion, or culture (shit, the more culture i have in my life, the better). i choose to associate myself with people whose energy, vibe, morals, heart appealed to me. i'm aware i talk shit and my mouth is uncontrollable but i've never genuinely hated or wished malice on anyone. i really do love everybody unless they give me a valid reason to feel otherwise because (and i had this conversation with kayleigh. this might've been when i fell in love with her)... we're all on this planet to learn about each other... all we have to do is be considerate and make an effort to understand each other. that's only possible if we communicate and are considerate of each other's feelings. unfortunately, i'm not the best with initiating communication... this is where the two way street card comes into play.

i'm considerate of you and think of situations from my angle and yours.

life according to amy: rule #9

2010-07-14T03:50:00.001-05:00

"when choosing who to trust, consider the quality of time of your association and then the quantity..."

-mom

um, hi

2010-07-06T20:38:00.002-05:00

i know, i've been really bad at updating. i pretty much have had nothing to say lately... well nothing pleasant, really. but i swear, i have something in the works. there's a topic that i've been thinking of a lot lately. like seriously, sometimes i think about it all day. as soon as i organize all these thoughts, i'll write something. i've also been thrifting... a lot (wassup, miss chapman!) and i've been meaning to take pics of my purchases. i will soon. well that's all i wanted to say, really.

stay classy, bitches.

greenlight.

2010-06-16T07:03:00.004-05:00

wikky. wikky.

2010-06-01T09:03:00.001-05:00

please don't kill me for posting this.

hi, watch this...

2010-05-29T21:44:00.003-05:00

it's hot. bdb's clit teaser for the jus' sam's mixtape This Is 4U LA, to be released fo' dat ass summer 2010. yes, i said clit teaser.

ps- thanks for the supahfresh shoutout with the hat =)

it's motherfuckin' friday.

2010-05-21T10:38:00.005-05:00

thank you, baby jesus. this week was kind of reaaaally long. long like going to hopleaf with the goodlife fam feels like 3 weeks ago and that was last friday. oh the situations i put myself in this week. *sigh* i had a great birthday though... for the most part. but that was my own fault. anyway, it was fun and beautifully reckless. pics soon.

oh, tonight is goonie's performance at club v. if you're in chicago, come by. if you know me personally, hit me up. let's go! here's the flyer (made by yours truly)

this post really doesn't have any substance, i know. except for the gooniej/goodlife thing. i just wanted to say i'm thankful this motherfuckin week is over. happy friday!

off to see my bernz for our weekly jess cafe! yeah!

hi, rod.

2010-05-12T21:35:00.003-05:00

i need the drives around downtown... the 40's nights... bc trips... garbage can confessions... the hand gestures... inside jokes.

come home. likenowpleasethankyou.

there isn't a single day...

2010-05-06T09:10:00.003-05:00

that i don't think about that smile
that i don't miss your corny jokes and your cute little catch phrases (ops, wrong number)
sometimes i even miss arguing with you.
i miss us yelling at each other and hanging up then calling back like nothing happened
i know, that's kinda fucked up but i miss that shit.
i miss your cooking!
even though everyone says i got that shit down to a T,
it's just not the same as when you cooked it for me
i just want some adobo, kare kare, eggrolls, ube, leche flan...
even one of your simple eggplant omelet thingies would be great right about now.
there isn't a single day that i don't wish you were just a phone call away
everyday i look for that wakeup call at 7am (the ones you used to give me even on my day off, thanks)
every night i miss you blowin up my phone starting at 10pm to ask where i am

where are you now? it's 10:30!
mom, i'm 23!
so?

thanks to you, i need the goodnight, sweet dreams every night otherwise i can't sleep.
there's so many things i want to tell you and ask you
hopefully i'll have the chance on those nights that i'm lucky enough to see you in my dreams.
i miss all these things and a million things more.
i just miss you... and not just today... but every day. every second, even.
i love you, mom. see you in my dreams

- netnet

just a random update...

2010-05-04T06:49:00.010-05:00

...because i feel the need to write something. now, prepare your pretty little faces cuz this shit is all over the place.

first of all, this weekend with the whole bradley u thing was waaaay above and beyond what j and i hoped for. all the prep work, the late nights were so worth it. i just want to say i'm so proud of everyone. bdbusiness, goonie j, jus'sam, & los for killin it on stage. and of course, jason. i'm proud of you and everything you're pushing for. you already know all this sentimental shit. thanks for letting me be a part of it. it was dope to see you guys doing your thing and building relationships w/ the other artists. that hotel room scene was mind blowing. the whole thing was quite an experience really. the first of many. and peoria, thank you. my liver is all shriveled up. it's cool though cuz when goodlife makes it big, i'm sure j will buy me a new one =) *btw, that pic is from the abbey. not bradley u. those are comin up.

in other news, i've been learning quite a lot lately. i'm starting to trust my instincts and take my own advice. so i'm learning that i can trust myself. i know sometimes i'm on that hypocritical shit cuz i'll advise someone to do something and i myself wouldn't do it. but lately when my friends come to me and i break it down it's like *lightbulb* maybe i should do that too. i'm sure everyone who reads this (whattup to all 5 you... heeeeey) already knows that i recently became single. now, if you didn't already know, i don't deal with endings too well. i always feel such a huge loss. and don't get me wrong i did feel quite a loss but i'm ok. i'm learning it's ok for things to end if it means it'll be better for the two of us in the long run. and it has been better for me. i'm taking care of myself, finding out what i want, having fun... which means i'm less stressed and i'm happy. i mean it's a different kind of happy from being with him but this is good too. and i know he's happier too so... everyone wins. plus, we're still friends. as i am with all my other exes. i'm not really huge on holding grudges. one of my best qualities is that i'm able to forgive. life's too short to be mad at everyone.

got a few things going on this month. it's my mom's 3-year anniversary this weekend. maybe we can just sit around and drink... like we do every year. my birthday is coming. jesus christ. my past few bdays have been drama-filled and this year, that's just unacceptable. other than that, these next few weeks should be quite productive. i'm putting together my portfolio for all the world to see and fixing up 16thirtyone.Com so i can offer my services. i got a couple logos to work on for people. i'm gonna be a busy little bee. and i'm gonna start right now cuz i, for some reason, woke up at 5 am and i can't go back to sleep.

-marie

timing

2010-04-23T00:58:00.003-05:00

why are we so obsessed with timing? or actually... why am i so obsessed with timing? there's never a good or right time for everything! you know what i mean though right? there's never a good time to break up... when's the right time to talk to someone new... there's never a good time to quit a job you're unhappy doing. there's never a good time to break bad news to your friends.

well you know what? fuck waiting for the right time. i'm just gonna accept that there's never a "right" time for the things i mentioned (or much of anything else really). i'll just accept that these things are inevitable in life. i'm just gonna play the fuck it game (skins season 2, educate yourselves). whenever something feels right, i'm not gonna consider the timing. i'm just gonna say fuck it and go for it.

i mean for someone who is constantly a victim of bad timing, i sure do care a lot. and why? timing's never worked in my favor. so fuck it.

supahfreshfitted

2010-04-18T15:01:00.003-05:00

i had this hat made a looooong time ago at woodfield cuz i fell in love with a logo that i rushed to create for an art class.

i reached back like a pimp and i slapped the ho.

2010-04-14T13:26:00.002-05:00

i miss my friends.

half-off monday!

2010-04-13T18:07:00.007-05:00

every monday, all purchases at my favorite thrift store chain are 50% off! so last monday, i went on a waaaaay overdue shopping trip. 2 hours and $27+ later, i came home with some good stuff:

this is a coach shoulder bag. it's small and is perfect for spring/summer when i don't really like to carry around too much stuff. also cute for just going to a bar. i got it for $6... the metal thingy in the front is missing but i still think it's cute.

i've been looking for a good-sized black bag. i don't even know how to define what good-sized is to me but anyway... this is one of those balenciaga knockoffs, whatever. it has lots of pockets and a shoulder strap and it stand up well on it's own. my big bags are all hobo-style and brown so i needed this one. $5! (i was watching fresh prince on my computer while i was taking pics lol)

i got three gold chains and a really pretty yellow necklace. $6 alltogether

here's the detail for that last necklace.

i fell in love with these wedges cuz of the zigzag-like pattern and i needed these cuz like my bags, all my spring/summer shoes are brown lol. $3!

needed a pair of black flats. i don't know why it's so fucking hard to find plain balck ballet flats that are comfy. these aren't really ballet flats but they have that loafer look which is think is cute... $2!

these are pretty for when i go out but don't feel like wearing heels (which is always). they look practically brand new and were only $3.50

so there ya have it. overall i'm pretty happy with what i got. i can't wait to go next week to look for a pretty vintage tray for my room. by the way, i moved out of my apartment and in with my friend two months ago. i'll take pics soon.

'til next time. keep your head above water

-marie

lookin' at my roley, it's about that time.

2010-04-07T14:58:00.006-05:00

oldie but a goodie. i'm in the process of taking pics of my recent purchases from "half off monday". what's a half-off monday, you say? you'll see. til' then, enjoy the video *puff daddy shuffle*

p.s. awkard crotch shot at 2:22.

on that girly shit

2010-04-05T09:20:00.002-05:00

it's about that time... every year i go through it. no, not the phase where i want to sit at the computer and design 24/7 (although i really do need to do that). not that thing where i wanna buy all the kicks in the city. sans employment, it's safe to say that i'm out of the shoe game for awhile if not permanently. people are ruining the game for me, lol. i'm talking about that time of the year when the grass is green again. flowers are poppin' up. the breeze is cool on my face and not butt freezing cold. the city is pretty and it makes me want to be pretty too. it makes me want to wear pretty clothes and create pretty things.

what the fuck are you talking about, marie?

all winter i've been scrubbed out... wearing sweats, hardly any makeup, hair all in a messytail. every spring i change up my style. experiment with new wardrobe, have more fun with my hair and makeup, and i love to do a bunch of DIY projects. I've been watching a lot DIY on youtube and falling in love with new fashion/makeup blogs so, i'm pretty inspired.

watch out, readers (assuming there's more than one) cuz you'll be seeing a few fashion/makeup/craft project posts. and watchout roomiehomeyfriend cuz i will be fighting with you for bathroom time. it's the only room in the house with ample lighting and a mirror. Unless of course you hang my full length for me *hint hint*

'til next time... may the new spring air mend broken hearts, turn frowns upside down, and breathe new life into ~~your~~ our creativity.

peace, bitches.

-marie

p.s. This song always enhances my springtime experience. heh.

playing hide n' seek

2010-03-21T15:11:00.004-05:00

not the traditional game that we all know and love. more like hiding in my little hole (from my friends, the blog, what have you) because i'm trying to look for the right way, the right words to express how i've been feeling lately. and just in case you're remedial, that's the seek part. that was harsh. whatever. i always look for the right words to say as to not reveal too much of myself. the right words as to not hurt anyone because in all honesty, that's the kind of person i am. i would rather pent it all up and hurt myself than hurt those around me. but as long as we're being honest here: if the people you are trying to protect don't give a shit about hurting you, then what the fuck?

so here it is, not more hiding. no more seeking to find more delicate words to sugarcoat because what's the point?

these past few months, i've felt every emotion in the book. love to hate. appreciated to just plain used. from blessed to cheated. cheated in a sense that i feel like i'm not getting back even half of what i put out there. yeah, yeah, we should love our friends and family unconditionally without expecting a reward. but damn, how about to the point where you get tired of giving or being there cuz guess what? when you need something or someone just to be there, where the hell is everyone? suddenly phones aren't working. people are too busy? what the hell? "i got problems ain't nobody callin' back, so what the fuck is happenin w/ my ballin cats?" damn, i feel that. on the other end of the spectrum, there are people who came and caught me when i was falling and these were people i didn't expect. as he says "shit came out of nowhere, huh?" call it good luck, good timing... i'm just relieved they were there when i was about to go SPLAT... and for that i feel blessed.

and i always say this. it would be easier if my mom were around but i'm beginning to accept (finally) that she isn't. i can't just hit 2 on my phone (cuz you know, 1 is voicemail) and ask her what i should do or make her listen to me just cry. i'm just going to have to face the fact that i really do have to face everything without her. she was right all those years we fought when she said "you'll be sorry when i'm gone".

at this point, i'm kind of exhausted. mentally and physically. i can't even feel anything anymore. i can't even write, i can't even visualize anything creative. because of that other people, not just me, are paying the price. i've promised people i would design things, put together a website for them and i haven't been able to deliver. and if you read this, and you know who you are, i'm deeply sorry. at this point, i'm just hoping i've felt every bad thing i'm supposed to feel so that healing can start.

i'm the real black sheep... BAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!

2010-02-27T20:03:00.003-06:00

what a sorry excuse of an update (sorry vee)... but it's hilarious.

in the z formation.

2009-12-24T07:43:00.002-06:00

i'm gonna start doing the "grand diva snap" (0:53)

goodlifemusicgroup.com

2009-12-17T08:07:00.001-06:00

i had a good, productive day at the goodlife frat house yesterday. it was well worth not getting any sleep yesterday. we worked on the website -- while watching UP... cute movie but wtf was up with that depressing beginning?? i believe the simultaneous reaction to the funeral shot was AWWWHEYLLLLNAWCMON!!! so anyway, we finished it and released that motherfucker. i think i can speak for both j and i when i say i was relieved when i pushed that publish button. of course, it is a temp layout. i will be taking a quick. break from any major creating. i will be starting the big full blown site after new years so watch out.

i'm just sayin.

2009-12-15T18:12:00.003-06:00

one of my friends posted one of his infamous question of the day's on this status and it was about girls going back to a shitty ex. one of his friends posted that girls lack common sense. i mean, no hate at all but c'mon? what about guys? that comment struck a nerve with me the first time and it did again with this question of the day. so my essay of a comment read as follows:

"it's not just girls who lack common sense you know... what about the guys that already have a good girl but play around on them anyway??? they're even more stupid for ruining a good thing. and when they ruin that good thing, guess what? they ruin the girl too. same thing vice versa. no one is actually crazy, stupid, a ho, a bitch, or an asshole bf to begin with... i think we all drive each other to those points with lack of communication, trust, and unconditional love in a relationship... it's a vicious cycle that must exist otherwise the game of life and love would be boring as fuck and no one would ever learn anything.

and as for the subject of exes running back to their shitty exes... sometimes when people break up with someone they go back because the good outweighs the bad and they have their own reasons for loving that person the way they do and going back. yeah, a girl's (or guy's) ex may be shitty in your eyes but that may be because when they vent to you that's what they're doing... they VENT... meaning they're only complaining about the bad stuff and you hardly hear about the good no matter how much good shit there is. only the two people in that particular relationship really know what's up in THEIR relationship and only they can judge whether or not it's worth saving or going back to. besides if they're happy going back to that ex and they're willing to live with it and endure it, so be it. live and let live. love and let love. ya digg? but wtf do i know? i'm just as fucked up as everyone else about this shit... we're just gonna have to accept that we're all trapped in a case of the blind leading the blind. lmao

sorry about the essay. but you know... i'm just sayin. lol"

who's coming with?

2009-12-11T10:56:00.004-06:00

ok for real, who wants to go with me? the only downside is, i'd have to go back to the infamous congress theater where the experience was no bueno when we went to see the roots. of course, that's when sherwin fell in looooove with me. haha just kidding. he did pretend to be my boyfriend and apologize to everyone around us when my hot mess drunken ass spilled someone's beer and knocked over someone's popcorn. thanks, darling. also the the night of the confusing cigarette kiss... hahah oh shit, remember that?? ok this is getting a little soul-baring. the point is...

who's down to go??

blah.

2009-12-10T21:35:00.002-06:00

i wanted to write this big update... then i wanted to write something personal... now i'm kind of just in one of my emo, sad holes and i don't feel like coming out. however, i really should do something therapeutic in order to be able to get myself out of this hole. so, i'm going to stare at some coding for hours. it's like meditating for me.

ps. thinking about doing some vlogs. i hate my voice though, so we'll see how it pans out.

"fuck you, fucka"

2009-12-01T15:28:00.007-06:00

http://goodlifemusicgroup.com/

thanksgiving weekend

2009-11-29T10:03:00.000-06:00

i hope everyone had an awesome thanksgiving! my weekend was pretty chill. sherwin and his family went up to michigan for the weekend so i was kinda bummed. but it turned out pretty ok.

i ended up spending thanksgiving with my friends from grammar school, pretty awesome. dinner was delicious, ladies, thank you so much.

friday and saturday, i just relaxed at home. did some laundry that was way overdue. it's kind of sad that i can go about a month and a half without doing laundry and i still had clean clothes. obviously, i didn't thin out my closet enough.

today of course, had work at 6am. it's almost half over cuz i spent the first half watching movies and the simpsons. i finally watched remember the titans. And now
i'm about to start the way we were. i'm so excited cuz after i get out of here, i get to see sherwin and winston. i missed them a lot this weekend. just wasn't the same.
i hope everyone had a wonderful weekend and I wish you an even moreamazing week ahead of you!

-marie

visualization is key.

2009-11-29T09:23:00.000-06:00

the other night i was advising my homey jason to videotape a lot of the recording sessions with his artists. you know, for when he (or we lol) makes it big and they might need the footage for a documentary. what did i say? "never-before-seen footage of goodlife's early recordings"? and like I said to him, dream big, nigga. lol.

i really do believe that sometimes daydreaming and thinking big makes you see what you really want and makes you want it even more. run on? anyway, i think it pushes people to really work for it. why do u think i flip my magazine to a page with a 49 year old julia louise dreyfus who's got the rockin body when i'm on the treadmill? she's almost 50, son!

and so j, this is why i feel you're going to make it: when i'm working on the goodlife website/graphics, i picture myself being in a photography studio (with the disgustingly stylish outfit, the glasses and a bad ass pair of loubotin booties of course lol), sitting behind the photographer directing the shot. this photo is going on someone's album cover #3 (sam, bdb, or goonie... pick one lol). then my assistant comes up to me to ask me to approve the images for a slideshow for an album release party. that's right, i got an assistant, homey haha. then i get a bbm (cuz i know you're gonna force the entire goodlife camp to run on blackberry) from you that you just finised a hot track and i HAVE to hear it.

sick huh? you're gonna call me a nerd for that but whatever, it helps me squeeze out the creative juice. so that's where i am. can you see it? picture something like that on your side of this project and you'll want it even worse.

more vintage fun

2009-11-21T00:08:00.002-06:00

sherwin at lori's wedding. the suit, the glasses, his personality... so fitting for that vintage feel.

taken during one of my cam whoring sessions. this was taken for what was supposed to be a makeup post, heh.

little italy in the rain

2009-11-21T00:05:00.002-06:00

i took this in nyc when we went back in 2003. added a little photoshop for that vintage effect =)

miss amy

2009-11-19T23:46:00.000-06:00

my co-worker was telling me about how her mom gave her two pounds of this salad she liked from jewel and it made me think of my mom. how she'd know what to get for me at the grocery store, at the drive-thru, or even at the randomest store (she'd buy me a little random knick knack she found amusing because she knew i would find it funny too). she used to separate my picadillo from the rest of the batch before she added raisins cuz she knew i hated them. she would set aside a portion of any dish that contained liver before she added it cuz she knew liver made me gag.

she knew what i liked to eat, how i liked to be treated when i was on my emo bullshit, who i didn't want to talk to (without even asking me), which jokes would make me laugh, what to say to make my worries go away, how to tell me i was being a crazy idiot without calling me a crazy idiot, how to hug me so that I wouldn't feel alone... she just knew me.

i miss amy.

ain't nothin' to fuck wit...

2009-11-17T15:57:00.002-06:00

been stuck on wu-tang for the past week or so. i'm looking for instrumentals. help.

watch ya step, kid... watch ya step, kid...

bitch slap 3

2009-11-17T15:51:00.003-06:00

aka... draft 3 of the logo. my face hurts.

updates & bullsh*t

2009-11-16T15:15:00.000-06:00

before i get started, i'd just like to say that my weekend definitely made up for my crappy week of being sick. i got to spend time with some old friends and of course the VIP. i got to eat awesome food that i've been craving (i have to go back to san soo gab san for the bbq....mmmm). i would post the food pics on here but all of those are on facebook. but anyway... of course, let's not forget the pacquiao fight. that was a whole case of whoop ass right there.

so friday i had lunch with my bernz... always a fun time. we ate at tampopo because i was craving ramen (i'm always craving noodle soup) and we always eat japanese. for real, korean next time. after lunch we ended up shopping for "face crap" cuz for some reason both of our faces were working against us. fucking breakouts. ugh. anyway so we went to the face shop at hmart because i wanted to pick up some of those sheet masks that i keep reading about. i saw them at walgreens for 2 for $5 the night before but i knew they'd be cheaper and they would have a bigger selection at hmart. so we went and i picked up the pearl sheets for clearer skin. i'll talk about them towards the end of this entry. after that, we went to target to buy skin toner. we ended up just getting the oil of olay one for $3 cuz we were to lazy to stand there and pick. I also ended up getting yellow nail polish (i have like 3 of them and i hate the way the yellow comes out, i hope this one turns out good) and a couple of studio tools eyeshadow brushes. they're aight. i'm still mourning the loss of my precious posh dual ended crease/blender brush. so sad. seriously, that bitch disappeared into thin air. anyways, it was a fun day. the girl is a ball of energy. like her "normal" would be my "hyper. ridiculous.

friday night, sherwin and i stayed in cuz we were still sick. plus, modern warfare came out so he bought it and played while i worked on some graphics. i'm telling you, being able to be in the same room and not do the same thing is a sign of a good relationship. after his playing the game and my staring at the monitor made our headaches bigger, we caught up on our curb episodes. i can't wait for the reunion episode. saturday afternoon i finally got to go to san soo gab san for korean food. i was happy. we picked up winston from his brother's place. nice relaxing afternoon with my boys =)

last night of course was FIGHT NIGHT *does the tinikling*. rod and i ended up going to a bar called four shadows. we thought we'd be getting there early at 7:30 cuz it wasn't the main even yet. wrong. it was packed and we couldn't get a table. good thing i ended up spotting this corner by a ledge so we would at least have somewhere to rest our drinks. we also ended up getting food. we got tater tots at first which was ok cuz i mean, i didn't mind supporting the basket. later on we got the mini-burgers and shit got complicated. we had to borrow a tray and rest it on an empty trash can that was next to us. yes, it was that packed. anyway, great fight. i'm not going to write about it cuz you can youtube it, yahoo it, and espn it so... there. let's just say all the screaming i did scared the guy behind me who was rooting for cotto. also all that screaming was not good for my throat. after that, we went to sherwin's house where everyone was faded and happy. great night. stop hiding, mayweather.

ok so about this face thing... i've been breaking out on my cheeks it's really annoying. My skin looks like shit. It's my own fault though because I'llt ake care of my skin for like 2 weeks til it clears up and then I'll neglect it. The way I take care of my skin is just lots of water and avoiding bad food which i should be doing regardless but let's not discuss it. anyway, i don't even really have a skin regimen. i just take off my eyemakeup and the rest of my face just waits til the morning shower. LOL I KNOW, I KNOW!!! anyway so now i'm making an effort. i'm using the st. ives apricot scrub (which i used when i was younger), olay toner, and olay beauty fluid. AND i picked up those sheet masks from the face shop. i used on friday night and #1, it felt and smelled soooo good. i love cold things on my face so i relaxed with it on. i actually even dozed off for a few minutes. after taking it off, my skin was a little on the sticky side but after a few more minutes (i guess after all the product sunk into my pores) my skin was sooo soft. i didn't even use a moisturizer cuz i wasn't sure if i'm supposed to. anyway, i woke up the next morning and my breakout was half gone, the little bumps were flat, and even my pores seemed smaller. i'm gonna use it regularly.... probably like twice a week. i wish i took a before pic cuz after just 2 days of paying attention to my skin, it's already noticeably clearer. YAY.

anyways, that's all for now. holy shit, this became longer than i wanted. toodles.

i left my heart in...

2009-11-13T16:32:00.001-06:00

i took this pic while we were in a cab with our awesome driver who took us on our last minute tour. he took us down to this area of the bridge where there were no tourists. he said this is his favorite view of the bridge.

while my guitar gently weeps.

2009-11-13T16:25:00.001-06:00

i wish i didn't have to put the watermark. i also wish i had a million dollars, so whatever.

wikky wikky

2009-11-13T16:17:00.004-06:00

take two... this one's my brain child. came up with it while listening to disc 2, track 1 (please hurry up with my track names already, j lol). thinkin about cleaning up the top, looks too messy. enjoy.

phi beta...

2009-11-13T16:02:00.004-06:00

a crest looking logo thingy i made for goodlife. he wanted a shield.

hey mr. dj

2009-11-13T11:24:00.004-06:00

just wanted to add the originals from that day. refer to previous post. take these and die, thanks.

just for the hell of it.

2009-11-13T11:18:00.003-06:00

this is actually sherweezy's hand. i took the pic winter of '07 while he was fuckin around on he tables. for "fuckin' around" he sounded pretty damn good. anyways, sprinkled a little photoshop magic and a dash of illustrator and *BAM* a new graphic for the GoodLife collection.

gettin ill.

2009-11-10T05:17:00.000-06:00

Fuck my immune system. Ever since I was a kid my immune system is my worst enemy. I used to have asthma attacks off of every little thing, getting tonsilitis and laryngitis all the damn time, and while I lived in the Philippines I was in and out of the hospital like every month. I was just a sickly kid.

I'm still sickly. I get sick everytime the weather changes. I get sick when I get allergies so crazy that the sneezing and runny noses turns into chest congestion and BOOM BOOM POW - fever town.I always feel it too. My throat gets a certain itch that's like a red flag--uh oh its coming. My waterline gets red and my eyelids feel hot. And when I get sick, boy, I GET SICK. Like bedridden, irritable, can't move, my joints hurt, and when I shower the water feels like needles pricking my skin. Last time I got sick it hurt so much that I was crying in the shower. It sucks so bad being me sometimes (I don't care if that's negative, you've never been in my slippers while I'm sick). Maybe I'm just being a big baby cuz I know for a fact people out there are suffering worse than me. But having the flu, sore throats, and fevers at least 4 times a year for 25 years has given me the right to complain don't you think?

Well I got sick last month and I just fully got over it a week ago. Guess fucking what? Your girl is sick again! I feel the lids getting hot. This time though its the sickness I HATE. It's the one I get every year where I cough and cough forever. I'm coughing up all kinds of fluids and it hurts. Plus, my chest feels like I am having an asthma attack. Oh and I'm walking around wheezing. Damn it.

Getting fucked up friday did it I think. We stood out in the cold for a long time too. We partied in Naperville with Sherwin's co-worker. They don't play around in Naperville. You think you're just gonna kick it with the one 40oz? No, bitch, you're gonna have TWO. We had loads of fun but didn't make it home and just ended up crashing at their place. Well in the middle of night I started getting real hot and having cold sweats. I woke up the next day and I was coughing and wheezing my ass off.

Fast forward to sunday, had an awful time at work so just went to Sherwin's to chill. He said he wasn't feeling well so we took a nap. I woke up thinking "why the hell is it so hot in this bed???" I reach over to wake him up and he was burning! He had a crazy fever going on and I could feel mine beginning. I was sweating in the bed and went out in the cold. DUMB ASS IDEA. I woke up today with my head feeling so heavy and with my body all hot with aching joints. I'm at work right now still coughing. My throat hurts so bad and I just want to lie down.

I guess my white cells followed suit with Sherwin's and were like fuck this, I'm tired of fighting.

Damn you, antibodies.

music makes me high.

2009-11-08T11:11:00.000-06:00

Who needs bud when you got music?

So I'm sketching out some logos. I have a basic concept of what I want it to look like but the music I'm listening to while I work is taking over my ideas. I was listening to some Naughty By Nature and it came out all playful and feel good looking. Then on a different sketch, some Biggie and Snoop came on the ipod and it started to look a little more on the gangsta side. THEN Woo Ha! Got you all in check played on the third sketch and the logo was on some different shit, I can't even explain it.

Maybe I should listen to the music that guy who I'm making this for made. LOL. Duh.

updateroni.

2009-11-08T09:28:00.000-06:00

Hi. So I'm updating because this homey of mine, Vee (wuttup, gangsta? prodigeez, holler. bdfu.), has inpired me to post more. I swear, I've been getting inspiration from every direction lately.

Anyway, I'm expecting to have a lot more content for you guys (all three of you readers) since I got a couple projects coming up. One of which I posted a preview of in my previous post. By the way, I might be scrapping that image just because I'm a perfectionist when I actually care about something. You know how I do. Back to the drawing boards.

Oh and yes, I'm always saying how I only have 3 readers and shit because it's true. I only have 3 readers that I know of. I mean I'm hoping I have more but that's highly unlikely. I guess even on the internet, I'm socially retarded. It's my fault I guess, since my blogging has become more restrictive than when I was younger. I used to write anything and everything and not care. I used to be so open. I guess now I think too much and actually take into consideration that there are just some things that you can't put on a blog. I don't know where I'm going with this. Just trying to fill this text area lol.

In other news, my co-worker is acting particularly bitchy today. He must be on his rag or something. That's right, I said HE. Okaaaaay *snaps*

I'm gonna do my awesome weekend recap later when I get home. Toodle. Oo.

Damn, I haven't heard this song in a minuto caliente. J-j-jigga.

sneak peek, sOn.

2009-11-06T14:08:00.001-06:00

for real, it's been awhile since i sketched.

messin' me up, my whole head.

2009-11-03T05:25:00.000-06:00

Ever since I started blogging (4 scores and a million years ago... Ok maybe not THAT long) my topics have been inspired by personal experiences and that of my friends. Then I'd sit and put on some good music and just type. I want to stress GOOD music. This was way back when I was inspired and actually wrote some pretty decent shit, by the way. Well lately it's just mediocre (if that) and day-to-day ramblings. And I write out the drafts at work cuz shit, there's nothing to do between 3am-6am. Well today I got inspired and so I'm trying to write it out but something's missing...

The music part.

I'm playing some old hip hop off my phone so I can write but someone is simultaneously playing off their phone and it's like... not...good... Music. It's fucking me up. I tried the headphones but I can still hear Lil Wayne's wretched voice.

I wanted to get it done cuz I know by the time I get home I'll be way too tired.

Bleh.

monday agenda

2009-10-26T01:51:00.000-05:00

Today is the first day of the rest of your life:

1. Wake up early and work out.

2. Clean the entire apartment and get rid of a lot of clutter.

3. Send out a bunch of resumes.

4. Make calls to looks for job leads.

I'm excited. Off to bed, I go!

people in glass houses, i swear!

2009-10-25T11:34:00.000-05:00

I have this co-worker, let's call him... J. This motherfucker is the first one to point out when other people aren't doing their work. He is the first one to go up in the supervisor's office talkin bout "she fell asleep during her shift". He is the trick ass bitch who is the first to complain when the orders aren't entered.

Yet, he has been watching RuPaul's Drag Race all fucking day while I'm sitting here entering ALL the orders, taking ALL the calls and running on virtually no sleep. Then when he sees me with the headphones (correction, ONE earphone in cuz the other ear is for the phone), he wants to give me the side eye like I'M slackin. Girlfriend, please.

The worst part is, everyone he's ever tricked on thinks it's ME goin up in the office to complain.

Damn it.

whu huh name is?

2009-10-23T18:49:00.004-05:00

I have to --HAVE TO-- go to Mitsuwa to get this issue. I absolutely love this girl. I think she's so pretty and not stick skinny like most of the girls in the Japanese mags. I don't even know what her name is. I know, it sounds all teeny-bopper, fan, stalker-status but I'm girl crushin' real hard.

count wacktacula.

2009-10-23T07:11:00.007-05:00

I was driving home today and realized his test in L.A. is this week and I got all sad. THEN I realized he's leaving me in January which gives me what? Like 8-9 weekends left with him to go out, drink 40s at the club, chikka chikka dinners, walks through Bucktown (the "should I return this, should I keep it" game), splitting noodles at Zen, breakfasts at midnight at White Pal... then I got even sadder. Fuck. I'm going to miss my Count Wacktacula.

ooples and boonoonoos!

2009-10-20T13:32:00.005-05:00

Well, just ooples, really. I decided to try the apple cleanse. I wanted to do the master cleanse (you know the infamous, insane lemonade-cayenne-syrup drink), but I'm too chicken shit for that. I bet I'll pass out within the first 2 hours of that cleanse so no, thanks! The apple cleanse, I read it off of this girl's blog and researched it more. It doesn't sound too bad, I mean it's easy and it's got solids so I'm trying it. It says you can do it for however many days you want in a row. I'm doing 3. It also says if you want, you can do it like for X number of days in a row every week. I also need to go out and find unprocessed, unfiltered apple cider vinegar. Trader Joe's maybe? Whole Foods? I don't know... I also researched the apple vinegar cleanse after seeing it on this chica's blog. (I know, I tend to pick up things off people's blogs and research it. lol)

Okay, so here I go. Wish me luck.

Peace, bitches.

-Marie

a little bit of everything.

2009-10-19T16:52:00.003-05:00

I don't really have a specific topic to blog about today so this is all over the place.

First of all, the Insanity work out program I blogged about down there... umm FAIL. Well not really... I mean I could do it, just not in my apartment I guess. I tried to do the Fit Test which is a bunch of exercise moves that you do for 1 minute and you do as many reps as you can. Well, I got through half of it but when I did the the first of the suicide jumps... holy mother of mercy! My feet slipped all the way back and this crazy pulling type of pain went all the way up my spine! So I let my self plop to the floor as opposed to trying to recover with my feet and fucking up my back. It's my floors, I guess. Too slippery. I guess I'll have to stick with the Turbo Jam until I get a rug or something.

Moving on...

I've been feeling kind of bipolar lately... I mean like mood swings up the ass for real. One minute I'm all happy, feeling good... then I'm all emo and sensitive (I mean, I actually fucking cried over something someone said on FACEBOOK. umm wtf, Marie? To be fair, what the douchebag said really wasn't cool. And we're supposed to be friends? well, "friends", I just thought that guy could never be, in a million years, that mean) ... then I'm all angry and just want to yell at everyone. I know, that's scary-sounding. I really don't know what the fuck is going on. I feel like I have some sort of hormonal imbalance thing going on. I just need to maybe find my center again and chill the fuck out cuz all this mood swinging is fucking exhausting. Perhaps it's because I've been laying off the bud lately. HAHA. That's a good thing though, isn't it?

There was more I wanted to say and pictures I wanted to share but I'm tired now and super-hungry. So, laters.

insane in the membrane.

2009-10-15T16:12:00.002-05:00

I'm starting this program today. I'm a little worried because the instructor is the same guy from Hip Hop Abs that I borrowed from Leslie (remind me to return that) and he annoyed me a little. I can't stand annoying DVD instructors, that's why I couldn't do the Jillian Michaels bootcamp, she annoyed me... and creeped me out a little. LOL. Anyway, wish me luck because apparently it's crazy... insane, even. I kind of wish I started on a Monday so it'll be timed that my "day off" is on Sundays. But it's cool because on my "off" days I would have done Turbo Jam anyway (I know, I love the BeachBody.Com programs). Plus, there's no time like the present.

Ok, I'm off to get insane!

Toodle. Oo.

-Marie

ibetcha i can! err... maybe.

2009-10-15T04:26:00.000-05:00

So my boyfriend and I bet that I would lose an X number of pounds by December. We made this bet like 2 months ago. TWO MONTHS AGO. I've already lost a good amount but I'm gonna need to step up my game if I'm gonna win. Problem is, I'm sorta lacking in the motivation department. It seems as if I'm really not motivated to do anything lately. I have a couple of goals that I need to meet by december:

1. Lose that weight and win the damn bet

2. Get a new job because this one pays so shitty AND they're making me work ALL the holidays. Yeah, apparently us night-shifters don't deserve a Christmas or NYE. Well, FUCK THAT.

Anyways, so I'm betting MYSELF that I could reach these goals. I need to motivate myself more. So I had this great idea of posting up little motivational quotes around my apartment. Anyone got any good ones?

And something totally off subject, I want a Long Champ bag =)

all marie, all the time.

2009-10-14T22:39:00.000-05:00

Ok... So my personal blog is about to go offline in a few days so I'm going to have to just make this an all-in-one blog. It sucks because I really wanted this to be a beauty blog...but that wasn't really working out that well since I've been uninspired and too cranky to touch my makeup.

The good thing is, I can blog on here from my phone since I don't have internet at work. I couldn't do that on the other site.

Okay, well stay tuned (all 3 of you).

shopping for the recessionista.

2009-09-03T05:20:00.002-05:00

I used to be the queen of thrifting. When I lived by Loyola University, I'd frequent the Salvation Army and various thrift shops nearby almost every week. I'd hit up 50% off Mondays at Unique Thrift and come home with great stuff. Over time, I've gotten rid of a lot of my finds (I mean, how many baseball ringer tees and bowling style bags does one person need anyway). I do wish that I had taken better care of the 80's earrings and necklaces I found because I lost a lot of them. The great thing about that is that I didn't spend much money at all on them so it wasn't as bad as losing my necklace from Tiffany & Co (what a fiasco). I am, however, still really heartbroken over the really gorgeous, white, oval earrings made of a marble-like material. Man, those went with everything!

I'd come home with t-shirts to cut up... Belts to make into cuffs... Jewelry to take apart and turn into new pieces... And 80's inspired clutches to tote around (I wish people who borrowed them would give them back already *ahem*). One of my favorite purses ever is a 35 CENT thrift store purchase.

Anyways, I can spend hours in a great thrift store... I just have to be in a certain kind of mood. Let me tell you there is a bit of a thrill when you find a great item for under 5 bucks (or under 50 cents even)! Well, now I'm in that type of mood. All this browsing through my fave fashion blogs and LookBook has gotten me in mood.

Here's what I'm looking for:
1. Accessories - of course, I'm a sucker for jewelry. Looking for necklaces and rings mainly. I got enough earrings (who am I kidding? You can never have enough earrings).

2. Slip dress - inspired by fashiontoast. She just looks s'damn hot in hers that I want one too.

3. Cardigans and vests.

4. Plaid schoolgirl skirt - it would be fucking awesome to infinity and beyond if I find one in MY grammar school's pattern.

5. Flats... There's a certain kind I'm looking for but I can't explain them, I'll find a pic and post it.

That's my list! I'm sure I'll find more stuff when I get there. I've been wanting to add some stuff to my wardrobe or just do an entire overhaul. It's a good thing that I'm in a thrifting mood cuz girl, money is tight these days!

See ya' next time!

-Marie

craterface!

2009-09-01T01:20:00.000-05:00

My skin is on some motherfucking bullshit right now. I don't know what happened! I broke out on the lower half of my face. And I have this nasty pimple right where the skin of my lip and face skin meets and it is the most painful thing I've ever had on my face!
I got all paranoid about it too so I researched that motherfucker and it IS in fact (thank goodness) just a pimple. It just hurts and I want to cry so bad!

It started when I started using the Dove beauty bar to wash my face. Needless to say, I'm no longer using that. Also, my diet has been slipping. I need to get back on my salads and water all day, everyday... ASAP because this face thing is torture. Oh and stressing the fuck out isn't helping me.

If anyone out there has any suggestions, help me please! It hurts!!!

Bronze-A-Licious.

2009-08-27T07:33:00.007-05:00

I'll come back and list what I used. I used the same makeup for both looks, the lighting is just different... the third pic kinda looks like a "morning after" pic lol.

Face:

Bare Minerals in Medium Beige
Ulta Bronzer (from a holiday set)
Milani Blush in Mai Tai
Benefit High Beam for face highlighting (?... I used it just above the blush to catch the light)

Eyes:

UDPP
Loreal HIP Paint in Commanding (allover lid as a base)
Ulta e/s in Gold Leaf (above the crease)
Ulta e/s in Brass (transition color in middle on the lid)
Ulta e/s in Tiara (highlight)
Avon gel liner in black (for the darkest part of lid)
Maybelline liquid liner in black
MAC powerpoint in Engraved (waterline)

Lips:

Avon lipliner in Nude
Kiehl's Lipgloss in New York Nude

Necklace:

The Mexican Shop - Evanston, IL
801 Dempster St
Evanston, IL 60201-4303

Great little store... the owners close down for 3-4 months out of the year to go down to Mexico for already made or supplies to handmake most of their jewelry. They also sell vintage sunglasses and other kitschy accessories.